..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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