3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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