All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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