you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
