where am i from again
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
