Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
