So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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