why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
