Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
