There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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