Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
