Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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