Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I will pee on everything he values.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
