After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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