and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Ambien. No doubt about it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
