I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
