I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
