Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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