Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
