u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's shark week go big or go home
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
