y did u give ur computer a hand job?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
how do you play pong handcuffed?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
