I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
