I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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