Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
