Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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