So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
