it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
