im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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