her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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