Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
