Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
