wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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