Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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