We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
