I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
