Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
