Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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