im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
