the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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