WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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