their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
