11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Drunk is not a location!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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