Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
