ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
