i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize