but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
