I'm drive I can fine osifer
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have aggressive nipples.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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