We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
