I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
