would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
